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Carpal Tunnel
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OP
Carpal Tunnel
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At court today, a defendant explained his failure to clear several unpaid traffic tickets off his driving record (in order to renew his suspended driving license) by saying that he suffered from "lack of fundage." I knew exactly what he meant.
Later, my in-court clerk came back into chambers and complained that several lawyers were hovering around her work station, leaning over the bar, all wanting something at once. She described them as "vulching." I knew exactly what she meant.
A word doesn't have to be an accepted and recognized word to convey meaning. It just has to make sense.
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Posts: 11,613 |
I love it, Father Steve--but not as much as I love seeing you back here!  Yes, my 15-year-old son has been saying XXX-age for some time, now. As in, "I want some foodage". Don't ask me.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289 |
Glad to see you back, Padre. Vulching is a well-known phenomenon here, but we call it "vulturing" and it's applied to the practice of sitting in your car, or driving around very slowly, in the parking lot at the supermarket or the mall waiting for someone to leave a convenient space. There are very sophisticated techniques for spotting a likely opening and getting yourself positioned to take advantage of it before another vulture does.
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Joined: Mar 2000
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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very sophisticated techniques for spotting a likely opening and getting yourself positioned to take advantage of it before another vulture does.
One is: if you see someone coming out of the store carrying bags, drive with your front bumper one foot behind them until they get to their car. This will have made them so nervous that they don't fool around with careful loading, hair fixing, or seat-belt fastening--they just jump in and go. The big disadvantage of this is if the person you're following has cheated, and is using your driving lane as a ploy: as he turns in beside what you imagine to be his vehicle, you watch in disbelief as he cuts through to the other side and frees a space into which another lurker triumphantly drives.
Another technique, though lacking a bit in the finesse department, is to simply gun your motor and cut in front of any other vehicle that, say, has its turn signal on, indicating that its occupant is waiting patiently and politely for the driver of the parked car to vacate the spot. A variant of this is the other-end-sneak: you're waiting for the car to back out of its parking space so you can move into it. Well! Its driver pulls forward, leaving two open spots, contiguous at the short end. You pull all the way into the far one so you can be facing out when you leave the spot, thus neatly foiling the plans of the patient driver who has been waiting in the far lane, turn signal blinking...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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I like the word, but not Jackie's techniques. I prefer the method I invariably use - have a car that's ten years older than anyone else's and just keep driving slowly forward when everyone's manoeuvring to get a particular park. Guess who gets out of the way? Not even the most aggressive shopper driving an E-class Mercedes will force the issue!
[polishing-fingernails-on-shirt -e]
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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I do dislike signage, as in "Just follow the signage". It doesn't seem to be anything different from just signs.
This came up at work today. The number of miles a car has travelled is its mileage (or possibly milage), but here I am in Indonesia so what do I call it: kilometreage? I can't say, "If the mileage for the month exceeds 5000 km", can I. I could talk round it with "the number of kilometres driven" or something like that I know (that's what I did in the end) but are we going to lose a very useful little word. What do people in the metricised parts of the English-speaking world do?
Bingley
Bingley
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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And, faldage, of course is the right........awk, gurgle, gasp ... ASp...you're chokin.........
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
- have a car that's ten years older than anyone else's and just keep driving slowly forward when everyone's manoeuvring to get a particular park.
On the whole, I agree with you her, CapK, as the driver of a very ancient, slightly battered Volvo, such as one doesn't mess with. But there is a favourite story of mine, which I sincerely hope isn't apocryphal, about the Rolls-Royce that was about to glide majestically into a parking spot, only to have a Mini nip into it. The young Jack-the-lad who had been driving the mini grinned at the lady driving the RR and said,"You need a little car to do that!"
The lady ignored him, and continued to drive on, pushing the Mini out of the parking spot, into a lamp-post. The lady alighted (one doesn't "get out of" a Roller) and said to the young man in a distant voice, "- and you need a large car to do that."
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Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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you need a large car to do that
And plenty of money to throw at lawyers.
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old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
you need a large car to do that
And plenty of money to throw at lawyers.Nah, one just needs a couple of husky lads to throw the Mini at the lawyer.  I began using the term, "vulching" when my older son was about four. He hung around the kitchen waiting for me or my wife to make food for him, looking every bit the part of a hungry scavenger. As for Jackie's parking techniques, I'm staying out of Kentucky!!!
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