#40110
08/30/2001 11:37 AM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
"It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right" quoth tsuwm in Mark Twain’s words.
So a small challenge if anyone cares to try:
Make up a maxim which has no obvious meaning yet preferably sounds like it should have one, hovering just out of our grasp!
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#40111
08/30/2001 1:15 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 1,055 |
My maxim? - Strive never to create any formula or rules by which to live.
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#40112
08/30/2001 1:52 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear belligerentyouth: Your maxim is just too good. It makes excellent sense to me.
Only the unexamined life is worth living.
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#40113
08/30/2001 2:42 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Only the unexamined life is worth living.
Good, Dr. Bill.
There is more to be found in a cloud than in all the works of man.
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#40114
08/30/2001 2:52 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
Dear Faldage: You speak more like a poet than a philosopher. I hate philosophers.
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#40115
08/30/2001 3:06 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
yep, I like all of these. I shall endeavour to live a better life by their example.
My offering in return is:
It's a legless dog that leaves no tracks.
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#40116
08/30/2001 3:42 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
...a legless dog...
Now that one is *really good. It comes across as being hopelessly trite on first view but then you get a sneaking feeling that it really *does mean something profound.
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#40117
08/30/2001 4:01 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Beware of chickens in the woods.
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#40118
08/30/2001 4:04 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
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#40119
08/30/2001 5:06 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 428
addict
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addict
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 428 |
Despite my best efforts, this may actually mean something, but here goes:
A good friend makes a bad enemy
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#40120
08/30/2001 5:15 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 6,511 |
He who goeth before a fall casts pride before swine.
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#40121
08/30/2001 5:53 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
yes, these definitely work for me!  It gets me wondering if chicken in the open are OK, or is the poor creature made mad by where it lives, or, maybe ducks in the wood may be different, or...? and does a bad friend therefore...! and as, dear for girl you, thoroughly confused now am I!
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#40122
08/30/2001 6:22 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
A penny saved is a waste of time.
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#40123
08/30/2001 7:34 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
a real one, but not always understood--
You might as well be hung for the sheep, than for the lamb.
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#40124
08/30/2001 7:38 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
You might as well be hung for the sheep, than for the lamb.
I always took this to mean if you're going to commit an infraction it might as well be a big one. Is this not the case? Is this another "no love lost between them"?
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#40125
08/30/2001 7:54 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400 |
yes, well, good shepard, its no wonder you understand it. but in our modern urban word, it falls flat on most ears.
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#40126
08/30/2001 8:21 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Here's one with a certain piquancy:
No gentleman ever did harm unintentionally.
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#40127
08/30/2001 8:41 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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#40128
08/30/2001 8:47 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,439 |
Not to change the direction of the thread (Who? *Moi?) but here's one on the oblique :
If I cannot have friends, God grant me honorable enemies.
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#40129
08/30/2001 8:51 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,094 |
Well, I hope this doesn't make any sense:
He is the fool who tries to outrun the sound of light.
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#40130
08/30/2001 11:10 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
No gentleman ever did harm unintentionally.
"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally," said Oscar Wildely.
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#40131
08/30/2001 11:42 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally"
This is not supposed to be a place to be serious, but that quotation bothers me, because the best of gentlemen do indeed at times hurt others unintentionally. Worse still, for those who would hesitate to claim that honorable estate, all too often we hurt even those we love unintentionally.
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#40132
08/31/2001 1:42 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
Never say never unless you dare!
A Quayle in hand is worth two in the Bush
The quickest moss grows on a rolling stone
Quoth the Poebird, "Ravenously more!"
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#40133
08/31/2001 2:26 AM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289
veteran
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veteran
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,289 |
At the risk of yarting, since I myself have brought this up before, I have to offer a maxim from one of the undisputed masters:
The question is ... which is to be master -- that's all. ... Impenetrability! That's what I say.
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#40134
08/31/2001 4:46 AM
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065 |
A young yak won't catch a rattlesnake.
Bingley
Bingley
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#40135
08/31/2001 5:06 AM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 618
addict
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addict
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 618 |
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#40136
08/31/2001 8:05 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
Out of the frying pan, into the microwave.
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#40137
08/31/2001 8:12 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,204 |
or, alternatively and still in an incendiary mode:
The juvenile offspring of mankind,
When cauterized by ignition,
Forever bears within its mind
The fear of repetition.
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#40138
08/31/2001 10:22 AM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
When training as a doctor, I onced loved a beautiful young nurse, but I never cauterize
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#40139
09/01/2001 2:18 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,189 |
A maxim is what you make it. 
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#40140
09/01/2001 2:26 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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#40141
09/01/2001 2:01 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
One should not use the shotgun approach to creating maxims.
TEd
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#40142
09/01/2001 2:36 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
And one should not use a Maxim machine gun to spell out his opinions.
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#40143
09/01/2001 4:46 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
A maxim in nine saves time ...
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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#40144
09/01/2001 7:28 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 819 |
He is the fool who tries to outrun the sound of light.
Is he not a fool, then, if he tries to outrun the sound of heavy?
If at first you don't succeed, suc harder. If at first you don't succeed, perhaps it's a seedless variety.
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#40145
09/01/2001 10:19 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
Beware of geeks wearing lifts
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#40146
09/01/2001 10:20 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
CK says eight ninths of all maxims save no time.
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#40147
09/02/2001 10:36 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 460
addict
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addict
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 460 |
We had a similar part-thread last October -- to save overloading the search function, I modestly repeat my post:
One of the New Statesman competitions [in 1969] was to invent aphorisms or proverbs of a self-evident nature, the example being an Ashanti proverb "Do not rub bottoms with a porcupine".
Correspondents came up with the following [a selection only]:
He digs deepest who deepest digs.
He who has the biggest feet will cover the most ground.
A bird in a taxi's worth two in a bus.
If there's no lead in your pencil you don't need a rubber.
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#40148
09/02/2001 1:01 PM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 13,858 |
"If there's no lead in your pencil you don't need a rubber."
If there's no lead in your pencil, you can't write. Or do much else.
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#40149
09/04/2001 1:48 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
If there's no lead in your pencil you don't need a rubber.
This one might be taken a whole nother way by USns.
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#40150
09/13/2001 2:20 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
My calendar has many tassels.
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#40151
09/14/2001 1:33 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Too many lemons flatten the checkbook.
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#40152
09/14/2001 1:41 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 60
journeyman
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journeyman
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 60 |
Men flatten earth, women flatten worth.
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#40153
09/14/2001 2:43 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
hey, that's good, Teresa... worryingly good... and whatever you're on, Consuelo, I think we all need some
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#40154
09/17/2001 8:22 PM
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 3,146 |
Too many lemons flatten the checkbook.If that's the question, then I think the answer is "Tequila". 
The idiot also known as Capfka ...
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#40155
09/18/2001 1:12 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
Well, may it remain a mystery. That's the way I like it, uh-huh uh-huh. And with this post I believe I became a member. Pass the lemons and flatten my checkbook  .
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#40156
09/18/2001 2:01 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
Congratulations, consuelo!
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#40157
09/18/2001 3:05 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
Be not the butter monger, spreading affection abroad in varicose embrace
But as bear to pole star forget
to alleterate
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#40158
09/18/2001 7:49 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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#40159
09/18/2001 8:04 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
<allterate
Is thought to be a misspelling of a similar looking word that means, I think, repeating the [first] letter of words.
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#40160
09/18/2001 8:11 PM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409 |
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#40161
09/18/2001 9:28 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Which one: alleterate or allterate?
(Or are they alternates?)
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#40162
09/19/2001 1:13 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
Or are they alternates?
Or are they all ternates?
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#40163
09/19/2001 1:32 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
all ternates
not all, only every third one
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#40164
09/19/2001 1:35 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
only every third one
All right! Wadja do with the other two?
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#40165
09/19/2001 1:38 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757 |
the other two
Derminated [arnold accent]
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#40166
09/19/2001 4:48 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467 |
TEd
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#40167
09/20/2001 12:09 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636 |
"But I was Vivaldi last time,"she whinged.
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#40168
09/21/2001 3:36 AM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
* An unexamined maxim is not worth living * This maxim came to mind as I was examining the maxims that have guided me the last forty years. Sadly, albeit perhaps to the pleasure of Pooh-Bah Maverick, these maxims turned out to be "almost maxims". These falsemaxims are ...
* If twineing don't fibble, if fibbling don't twine. *
* The bird of time has but a short way to flutter,
And Lo! The bird is on the wing.
And while that bird is recklessly flying
the bird in the bush is safe and abiding. *
*Honesty is a policy. *
Today I am confused. I have no love life and I have no friends. I am a stranger in a strange land. See there, I speak in cliche`s. In fact my whole life is a cliche but I am so confused I don't know which cliche it is. I need a change of maxims because I am a desperate man and desperate men do desperate things. But before I do let me tell you a story...
Many, but not that many, years ago a young boy that was me, listened every saturday morning to a radio show entitled -THE SATURDAY MORNING RADIO SHOW STARRING "HAPPY HAL" BURNS, THE HAPPIEST MAN IN BIRMINGHAM. Happy Hal was a breed apart. He always wore a flashy cowboy outfit and a big white cowboy hat and was always, always, smiling. His happiness soon proved to be contagious, he quickly became the most listened to radioman in Birmingham, not to mention Jefferson County. But alas, with popularity came riches, so with the Golden Eagle Corn Syrup and the Hi-C Orange Aide money he bought a golden orange Cadillac convertible with cowhide upholstery and a pair of bullhorns for a hood ornament and drove around town, smiling, waving and blowing his horn. But still he couldn't stem the tide of the Orange-Aide and syrup money so he bought a home in Vestavia, a newly pretentious bedroom suburb of Birmingham. There, on the front lawn, Happy Hal erected a ten foot tall plywood cutout of himself, smiling and waving in full cowboy regalia. Unfortunately his neighbors considered this plywood image of Happy Hal to be in poor taste and sued for its removal. Two years later a Judge ruled that yes, Happy Hal's image was indeed in poor taste and ordered it dismantled. But for those two years people from all over Alabama would load up the kids and drive to Vestavia, admire Happy Hal's house and smile and wave at Happy Hal's sign. This was the closest that Birmingham ever got to Hollywood's "Tours of the homes of the Stars."
Time passed, I became thirteen, me and my buddies became self-considered sophisticates. To us and others Happy Hal had become a sad cliche and a not-so-funny joke. We laughed when The Birmingham News reported that Happy Hal, the happiest man in Birmingham, was undergoing a scandalous and hotly contested divorce. This notwithstanding, each day, as always, Happy Hal would end his broadcast with this , his signature saying...
* You can't sprinkle the perfume of happiness on others
without spilling a few drops on yourself. *
Me and my buddies thought this saying corny, and, well yes, it is.
That was then. This morning the memories of Happy Hal came to my mind, so acting on a silly whim I looked into the telephone book and to my surprise I found him.
A woman answered. Yes Happy Hal was still alive, he was ninety years old and had gone to the store and would be back in thirty minutes. No, I'm not his wife , I'm his companion. Yes, he's the same old Happy Hal. Please do call back, Happy will be sorry he missed you. He so much likes to be remembered.
And that is why I've changed my maxim. And it will be my maxim until I'm ninety. Or whatever comes first.
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#40169
09/21/2001 11:13 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
And that is why I've changed my maxim.
To what, Dearest milum? This? "You can't sprinkle the perfume of happiness on others without spilling a few drops on yourself." Sorry if I'm being dense. Reply by private message if you like.
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#40170
09/21/2001 5:18 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
And what was your prior maxim...the honesty one, the bird or the fibble one?
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#40171
09/21/2001 5:58 PM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872 |
I am afraid to answer, belMarduk, afraid that you'll have a too clever reply.
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#40172
09/21/2001 6:14 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803 |
a too clever reply
Oooh! Not answering ain' no protection against that.
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#40173
09/21/2001 6:27 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891 |
Moi??? But, but, I am the picture of sweetness. Ohhhhh, I see, are we still talking about fig-leaf comparisons? Botany linguistics is all. Geez, you bring up one fairly small-sized leaf and men go all defensive-like.
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#40174
09/22/2001 2:23 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613 |
you bring up one fairly small-sized leaf and men go all defensive-like. Oh, bel, don't they, though?? Hmm--now why am I suddenly inspired to ask where the expression "don't give a fig" came from?  Signed, GQ P.S., Dear--will you take it a bit easy with my sweet milum, at least until he gets his feet wet in our stream of banter? And milum, when you do--look out! Anything is considered fair game!
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#40175
09/22/2001 2:26 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
It is less to be a beast of prey, blessed a beast of burden.
**
Three cumquats do not a webbed foot make.
**
Tell not the blind man selling jellies in the market the sound of passing boys is mischief.
**
Tell me, O, Socrates, what is virtue?
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#40176
09/22/2001 2:32 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605 |
Notice that our dear lady has now switched the subject from fig- leaves to figs. Well, dear, now that the leaf has been removed, would you say that the fig iself is symbolically masculine, or feminine? Do you wish to review the literature together (but not in the library )?
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#40177
09/22/2001 2:42 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
<<would you say the fig leaf is symbolically masculine, or feminine?
I would say it was symbolically symbolic, perhaps the most honest icon of hiddenness: it covers the likeness of the body and becomes a physical symbol of non-corporeal hiddenness or hiding. As an attachment of the Roman church to Greek statuary, it is the concrete gesture of a change in being towards the world--of the transition from its immediacy to its mediation through religion and understanding. That is, it is the iconic gesture of the apprehension of the world through shame.
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#40178
09/22/2001 3:30 PM
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Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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[hiding-behind-inselpeter emoticon] 
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#40179
09/22/2001 4:11 PM
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Posts: 3,439
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Warning-really old, naughty joke
Misquote of Mark Twain : Naughty jokes are OK as long as the humor exceeds the vulgarity.
The Fig Leaf
A man was invited to a masquerade -- and he decided to go as Adam.
He called the costume house and asked that a medium fig leaf be mailed to him. The leaf was received but the man called again and said he was returning the leaf as it was too small and could they send him a "large" -- they did. Another call followed, the man was mailing the large fig leaf back and could they send him the largest fig leaf they had. The costumer sent an XXXLarge. Yet another phone call and the man said the leaf was still too small. To which the exasperated costumer said, "Sir, that's the largest we have. May I suggest you paint yourself red, throw it over your shoulder and go as a gas (petrol) pump."
Blushing slightly the old woman gathers up her skirts and leaves while resisting incredible temptation to crack wise ....
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#40180
09/22/2001 4:55 PM
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Posts: 2,891
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Milum chou, don't take my ribbing too seriously. Just kidding around with you gents. I though you were kidding in your post (about the clever remarks).
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#40181
09/22/2001 6:31 PM
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Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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wow's really old, naughty joke
ROTFL !
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#40182
09/22/2001 7:00 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
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Shall we start with D.H. Lawrence's Wives and Lovers?
and if we're not going to do it in the library, shall we cheat, and just watch the movie..
the figs are all hanging ripe on the trees, here abouts. dark, swollen fruits, about to burst open, inside, warm, sweet moist flesh, dripping... but i am no dhl..
and i think its pretty safe to say figs are femine.
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#40183
09/22/2001 7:33 PM
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Posts: 2,605
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Thank you, Helen. Have we now fully satisfied the fig issue, or do others wish to contribute?
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#40184
09/24/2001 6:43 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
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you bring up one fairly small-sized leaf and men go all defensive-like.
Oh, bel, don't they, though??
Do I think that dress makes you look fat?
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#40185
09/24/2001 9:02 PM
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Posts: 2,605
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jackie: the expression "don't give a fig" [inconsequential]
of troy: its pretty safe to say figs are feminine.
I do not comment; I merely report.
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#40186
09/25/2001 1:33 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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Try dangling two together. They grow that way sometimes [looking off into the distance and whistling-e] 'Course, they do grow them bigger in Texas.
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#40187
09/25/2001 1:40 AM
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Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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At last we've returned to the original subject of maximizing values.
As we lawyers say, De minimus no curat lex.
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#40188
09/25/2001 1:40 AM
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Posts: 11,613
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Faldage, thanks for proving my point.
I do not comment; I merely report.
Keiva, I spotted you at the law library last night...
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#40189
09/25/2001 1:46 AM
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Posts: 2,636
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If you can't maximize them, why bother? Oh, wait. That belongs in 'loaded questions'. What am I doin' here?
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#40190
09/25/2001 1:59 AM
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Posts: 2,605
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Doin' quite nicely, I'd say.
(nice, adj. - 1. obs wanton)
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#40191
09/25/2001 2:06 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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And what song am I whistling off into the distance, you might be wondering? "Now bring us some figgy pudding, now bring us some figgy pudding...."
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#40192
09/25/2001 2:19 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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(basso profundo)
We won't go until we get some; we won't go until we get some ...
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#40193
09/25/2001 2:26 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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TEd Remmington? Weee doan need no steenkin' TEd Remmington !
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#40194
09/25/2001 11:18 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
<<figgy pudding
"You may have your figgy pudding, only bring me spotted dick!"
--duke of york (~)
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#40195
09/25/2001 1:15 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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We won't go until we get some
Hence the expression, come Michaelmas.
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#40196
09/25/2001 2:02 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
Carpal Tunnel
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Michaelmas is tomorrow, isn't it? (Septeber 26th?) --I glad i don't have to long a wait-- i am ready to come and get some..
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#40197
09/25/2001 2:14 PM
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Posts: 13,803
Carpal Tunnel
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glad i don't have to long a wait
If you bin waiting since last Christmas you'da had.
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#40198
09/25/2001 3:10 PM
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Posts: 2,605
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Helen, when we gentlemen have recently expressed our concerns for your feelings, we didn't know ...
Shame on us for being so insensitive!
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#40199
09/25/2001 3:26 PM
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 3,065
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In reply to:
Michaelmas is tomorrow, isn't it? (Septeber 26th?)
No. It's Saturday (September 29th).
Bingley
Bingley
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#40200
09/25/2001 4:47 PM
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 3,467
Carpal Tunnel
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Which is FAR more customer-friendly than what I would have said: Stick it in your ear....
TEd goes off whistling a Hoseanna
There once was a man from Nantucket
TEd
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#40201
09/26/2001 4:51 AM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,636
Carpal Tunnel
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You know, I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole. Not that I personally HAVE a ten foot pole, mind you, but I still wouldn't touch it....yeeew It could be contageous.
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#40202
09/26/2001 12:56 PM
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,400
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I keep an eleven foot pole around for just such cases.. i store it with my small round Tuit..the Tuit helps keep me from procrastinating.. you know, it helps to bring you to the day when you get all those things done, the things you keep postponing till you could get around-to-it...
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#40203
09/26/2001 3:28 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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Helen, there is a certain amount of risk you incur you misspell "tuit" as "toit". An unwitting reader could be misled by the latter spelling, by pronouncing it somewhat differently.
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#40204
09/28/2001 4:47 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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It's better to suck a sour cherry than carry an empty envelope on your back.
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#40205
09/28/2001 10:14 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
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Posts: 2,379 |
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#40206
09/28/2001 11:00 PM
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Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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A bird in the thyme saves nine.
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#40207
10/01/2001 4:13 PM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 4,757
Carpal Tunnel
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The speedy spider spins a long thread but throws a short shadow.
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#40208
10/02/2001 1:50 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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Falling stars give grape moments.
Edit: eep, didn't realize this would be the 100th.
Next post-er start the new thread, please, if you wish. I'm not inclined to--there may not be any more after this, and besides, I've seen my name quite enough.
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#40209
10/02/2001 10:38 AM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 872 |
What is the meaning of fumigate/fumigation?
Dear Mr. Maverick, Please excuse me for deviating from the intellectual investigation of ersatz maxims, but it was within this continuum that I got mad at belMarduk, and besides, I don't know how to initiate a new subject on this board so please let me explain...
Some days ago, in response to an answer I gave to a question he asked, belMarduk saw fit to make a tasteless remark about a "little bitty fig leaf". Well Sir, here in Alabama , you might make fun of one's pick up truck but you don't belittle one's hickee-do-gee, so naturally I got mad.
With a vengeance my mouse clicked on "reply" and soon after there appeared on my computer screen an essay of cuss words so vile that a Screen Guild Rating would be XXXX, that is, suitable for viewing only by the devil, his entourage, and his immediate family.
In a rage my mouse raced to the "send" switch, but before it could click, the screen went blank and the soulless and disembodied voice that endears us all to America Online said "Good-bye" and my masterpiece of vindication was lost forever.
I began retyping but stopped. I became cool and reflective. Wait a minute...this post I was writing would not only be read by belMarduk, but by his peers and betters as well. Heck! I was just beginning to enjoy the smart wit of Kieve and the gang. Maybe I would tone it down a tad. Hey, even better, I would compose a post so artfully crafted that belMarduk, nor anyone else in the entire world, would know that belMarduk was being insulted. I began typing.
It was well past midnight when I finished. I was pleased with myself. My redirected anger had become a one page work of art. It was with an air of bemused arrogance that I punched the Spellcheck. Ha! Just as I thought, only a few mistakes. Then, only God knows why, I punched the X in the right upper corner of the screen and the screen went blank. I screamed and then went to bed.
Days pasted. Then one morning I was sitting in my office with nothing to do. I looked around and saw nothing to read. Maybe, I was thinking, I would rewrite the letter to belMarduk..."Ah, fumigate, fumigation" I said. Now why did I say that, I thought to myself. Then out of boredom and with random I opened the dictionary on my desk. Then a deep throated gong reverbraterd throughout the room. In the upper righthand corner of the page of the dictionary that I had opened, in bold letters, was the word FUMIGATE.
Maybe some of you wordsmiths can explain the real meaning of the word "fumigate" but until you do I will take it as an illustration of a maxim that I have found to be true for most of my life, which is...WORDS HAVE NO ULTIMATE MEANING, WORDS ONLY HAVE FUNCTION.
Milum
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#40210
10/02/2001 12:50 PM
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Posts: 13,803
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belMarduk...his peers and betters
Not to mention her worses.
WORDS HAVE NO ULTIMATE MEANING, WORDS ONLY HAVE FUNCTION.
This one I like. It goes with language is not a set of rules; it's a set of behaviours. But I'll store it away with the entrants anyway.
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#40211
10/04/2001 2:31 AM
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 2,891
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Good God Milum, I have never before said this to anybody but, what the hell is your problem.
In life I make a point of being nice to everybody I meet.
I make sure I do at least one act of random kindness everyday. I am a bone marrow donor, blood donor and an anonymous gift donor to underprivileged kids at Christmas. And I always, always treat others with the same respect I want to be treated.
Now if you took what I said personally EVEN after I told you I was joking in a subsequent post then there is really nothing I can do about that.
But you seem to be on some sort of personal vendetta to insult me or 'get back at me' in some way. THAT is really sad and I don't understand that type of thinking.
Well, do your worst Milum. If you feel the need to insult me, go ahead. If you feel the need to waste time on hatred, well Milum, go ahead.
But you know what, you are right about one thing. I don't think you should be spewing in front of the rest of the people on this Board. I think they are all wonderful and don't deserve to be exposed to such anger. Write me a personal note if you are so obsessed about it.
But I will tell you this. I will NOT feel insulted and I will NOT feel debased because you are wrong. You have taken a gesture of friendship (I included a new person in a running joke several of us were having) and a gesture of apology (several posts down below) and you have totally twisted them in your own mind to mean something completely differently.
And I'm a woman not a man!
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#40212
10/04/2001 2:47 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
days pasted
Days pasted can't be wasted.
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#40213
10/04/2001 3:08 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
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bel, a thought about your rather lengthy post.
Good God Milum, I have never before said this to anybody but, what the hell is your problem. ....I will NOT feel insulted and I will NOT feel debased because you are wrong. You have taken a gesture of friendship ... and a gesture of apology ... and you have totally twisted them in your own mind to mean something completely differently. ...
bel dear, if you truly were feeling calm and not insulted, could not your entire post have been instead a simple, kindly sentence such as "milum, my friend, you've misunderstood me"?
And I always, always treat others with the same respect I want to be treated.
bel, we are each of us imperfect, and there are times when each of us will act unkindly -- your strong post some time ago to shoshannah, for example. Could it be that you have perhaps overreacted here?
Such vehemence, in the past, drove shoshannah away from this board. I would deeply regret it if should we similarly lose milum, with whom I am mightily impressed.
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#40214
10/04/2001 3:46 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
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Excuse me, but more than one person has been driven away from this board by "such vehemence". I will not stand for belMarduk to be chastised in this way--she was right, and milum was wrong--though I don't see how he could have known that. I too, am mightily impressed by milum, and for one don't blame him, as a newcomer, for not taking in the fact that this was just another link in a chain of joking posts.
But it is my opinion that bel has a right to express her opinion, and I don't think she was unnecessarily vehement about it. And she never said she was calm. I don't think too many people would be. GRR!
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#40215
10/04/2001 4:28 AM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 872
old hand
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old hand
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Posts: 872 |
Dear belMarduk, Yes, I thought you were a man. Does it matter? Yes, I think it does. I hate no one. My main goal in this swinging life is not to hurt anyone. My attempt at humor on this board was, I guess, a man thing. It is called Mock Jostling. This behavior among males is universal and not just peculiar to the south. Central to the contest is to find an opponent that you respect. I found belMarduk, belMarduk of the keen wit and good humor. Please do me a favor and re-read my post. I think you will find absurdity, trying to be funny, in my remarks. Thank You, Milo
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#40216
10/04/2001 4:42 AM
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 3,409
Carpal Tunnel
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#40217
10/04/2001 9:49 AM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
Carpal Tunnel
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milum--bless you, my friend, bless you. My post serves to illustrate how easy it is to misunderstand, here in this world of toneless, sightless communication. My apologies, Dearest One. Had I been able to observe your body language, I would have understood that you were "Jostling", I'll bet. Hmm--and to think, I tried to be gentle and "splash" you with a little humor--all the while not even recognizing that I was awash in the wave you created!
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#40218
10/04/2001 10:47 AM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,605
Carpal Tunnel
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max, I believe you're mis-recalling the past history -- but to be as fair and accurate as I can, I want to re-read that history before replying. I'll get back to you this weekend, by e-mail.
As a aside: musick, I owe you a special thank you. I'd originally resented your suggestion that I further familiarize myself with the board's history. But in hindsight, I appreciate that your suggestion was an amazingly constructive one. Thank you.
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#40219
10/04/2001 4:25 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 2,661
Carpal Tunnel
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Carpal Tunnel
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Keiva - Thank you for your thank you, especially since it was a special one... I'm honored to be referred to as "amazingly constructive". Milum - One thing I've noticed is... when one lives the "swinging life" you're bound to "knock something... a)down b)over or c)up...
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#40220
10/04/2001 4:33 PM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379
Pooh-Bah
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Pooh-Bah
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,379 |
cat fights reach lowly heights
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#40221
10/04/2001 4:36 PM
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 11,613
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Carpal Tunnel
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Sweet musick, I've been knowing you are constructive, my dear! Now, as to knocking: are you making a confession? (aside to milum--how I hope and pray you are not mad at me.)
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