These are some headlines from newspapers around the country, sent by a newspal. Perhaps some have heard them -but for those who haven't.

~ March Planned For Next August

~ Blind Bishop Appointed To See

~ Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -- Thief Gives Police The Slip

~ L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide

~ Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through

~ Diaper Market Bottoms Out

~ Stadium Air Conditioning Fails -- Fans Protest

~ Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

~ Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

~ Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice

~ Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

~ Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin

~ Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

~ Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man

~ War Dims Hope For Peace

~ If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

~ Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

~ Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation

~ Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

~ Man is Fatally Slain

~ Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation

~ Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence

~ Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

~ Police Discover Crack in Australia

~ Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan

~ Scientists to Have Ford's Ear

~ Hershey Bars Protest

~ Caribbean Islands Drift to Left

~ 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

HA!       Now, this one I can recommend, in some cases:  Juvenile Court to Try 
Shooting Defendant .

~ If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While--|
                                                        |
~ Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures                    --|   Really?


~ Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation   Man--no wonder we're in the 
shape we're in...

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

That's a bum deal!

Found this one on excite.com just now:


Nudist Colony Fails to Take Off

Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -- Thief Gives Police The Slip

I assume it was actually a holdup

actually a holdup

probably in Holdzemankeepzumfrumfloppen.

~ Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years

In my youth I knew several blind people. They all used 'see' in a metaphorical
sense, much as we would use it in a metaphorical sense. The example in this hed
is a perfect example of that usage.

You all should watch Jay Leno on Monday nights when does "Headlines." It's hilarious.

heard recently on radio news--
"Well, a suicide bomber has done it again!"

Cod labeled air traffic hazard

http://www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article852632.ece