sublime rhyme - Wordsmith.org

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#5088 - 08/11/00 11:10 AM Re: okay, here's something original then...
Jackie Carpal Tunnel Registered: 03/15/00 Posts: 10232 Loc: Louisville, Kentucky	Michael, I...I...hardly know what to say. You are incredibly brave, for one thing. And, I think you are right. Bones with no living flesh on them are, actually, dead. But it is ALWAYS possible to revive the dry dust-- it just takes the water of life (I am not speaking religiously) being poured in: love is the best form of this. This seems to be a day for heartfelt posts.
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#5089 - 08/12/00 01:50 AM Re: sublime rhyme
lusy member Registered: 03/16/00 Posts: 139 Loc: Melbourne, Australia	For dearest Jackie, no fan of Shakespeare though she be (witness an earlier thread) A truly sublime sonnet ... Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate; Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May And summer's lease hath all too short a date; Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed; And ev'ry fair from fair sometimes declines, By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade ... ... To know what's next, YHTLIU; And find what William truly said of you. lusy
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#5090 - 08/12/00 07:25 AM Re: sublime rhyme
Jackie Carpal Tunnel Registered: 03/15/00 Posts: 10232 Loc: Louisville, Kentucky	OH! I...I...am completely overwhelmed, but not so much that I don't know what to say! THANK YOU! Thank you! Thank you! You are an absolute darling! I love you! You have my heart forever! How could anyone NOT look it up, after that?? I shall type the rest: "Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou growest; So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long as lives this, and this gives life to thee."
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#5091 - 08/12/00 09:07 AM Re: sublime rhyme
Jackie Carpal Tunnel Registered: 03/15/00 Posts: 10232 Loc: Louisville, Kentucky	For dearest lusy, a heartfelt counterpoint that applies to you! My Heart Leaps Up My heart leaps up when I behold A rainbow in the sky: So was it when my life began; So is it now I am a man; So be it when I shall grow od, Or let me die! The Child is father of the Man; And I could wish my days to be Bound each to each by natural piety. William Wordsworth, March 26, 1802
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#5092 - 08/13/00 02:22 AM Re: okay, here's something original then...
Bridget addict Registered: 06/27/00 Posts: 444 Loc: Sydney Australia	tsuwm, encouraged by your bravery, I'll post something original too. (This was an exercise from my writing class - apparently a sestina, definitely the most taxing poetic form I've come across in English) Keeping Together My sun, my moon, my stars - you are the light that gilds the summer days within my heart. I do not know or care if this is right. I'm more concerned - and have been from the start of this our love - by twisted Fate, that might find cruel ways to tear our souls apart. For in the briefest hour we spend apart my senses fail, my spinning head is light. I lose my very self, till with a start I know your voice or touch and all is right. The storm subsides - your presence soothes my heart to rock in sweet content as infants might. Do you recall - I rather think you might - we swore that we would never be apart? Then, from the fading of the evening light until the sun called the new day to start, I grasped your tiny hands and held them right where they could feel the trembling of my heart. Do you remember how it beat, that heart, and pushed against your touch with all its might? How you leaned close, how lips barely apart breathed soft with love and stars and laughter light? And then we kissed… It was the start of my belief our love would come out right. But now it seems you'll exercise your right to tear the bleeding entrails of my heart. The hold I have upon you is too light - you'd leave, and rip our close embrace apart. Your soul succumbs and knows another's might - our game's played out so yours and his can start. I cannot understand. When did it start? Just when and how was it you seized the right to play these deadly tricks upon my heart? I thought we loved as true as any might, but I was wrong, and now that we're apart, my shattered dreams will never see the light Yet in the cold dawn light, when I wake with a start, though it might break my heart, I will not prove you right. E'en though you said I might, I will not fall apart.
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#5093 - 08/13/00 03:01 AM Re: okay, here's something original then...
lusy member Registered: 03/16/00 Posts: 139 Loc: Melbourne, Australia	Bridget, that is so beautiful. Thank you very much for posting it. Me old mate Bill should be jealous of your pentameters! Perhaps not, but it was really lovely. Thanks! lusy
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#5094 - 08/13/00 07:33 AM Re: okay, here's something original then...
Jackie Carpal Tunnel Registered: 03/15/00 Posts: 10232 Loc: Louisville, Kentucky	Oh, Bridget!! What an impact! Oh, if anyone has ever loved, they will just devour those words! And for someone who has never loved, this will make them cry for what they've missed. Thank you, Dearest Bridget. How very lovely!
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#5095 - 08/13/00 07:50 AM Re: sublime rhyme
Bridget addict Registered: 06/27/00 Posts: 444 Loc: Sydney Australia	<the worse verse thread seems to have petered out (at least momentarily :)> Gallantly swallowing the momentarily (I'm sure I can get used to this if I try....), let's get back to wrose verse. I used to know someting that ended up ...then Peter's ?? will pall and Paul's will peter out. Can anyone give me the complete version? And where does 'peter out' come from anyway?
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#5096 - 08/13/00 12:29 PM Re: sublime rhyme
tsuwm Carpal Tunnel Registered: 04/03/00 Posts: 9400 Loc: this too shall pass	>And where does 'peter out' come from anyway? unknown; but, once again, speculation is rife. http://www.cam.org/~jennyb/lasto3.html _________________________ joe friday
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#5097 - 08/14/00 06:00 AM Re: sublime rhyme
Rubrick addict Registered: 05/18/00 Posts: 679 Loc: Somewhere outside New York	"Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay. Remember me, when no more day by day, You tell me of our future that you planned: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you should forget me, for a while And afterward remember, do not grieve; For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad." Christina Rosetti
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