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Archives: Dec 2008
Defiant Illinois Governor Names Pick for Obama Seat

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2008: Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov
Earlier: Archives

Dec 31, 2008

Defiant Illinois Governor Names Pick for Obama Seat
Defiant Illinois Governor Names Pick for Obama Seat = Gad! For promotion event, asks a million in a briefcase!
= A f****** inspiration, not some aged f****** albino maverick loser!
= After trial, man's gone--locked in prison above mafiosi!
= Replace Barak? Go find similar motivation of oneness.
= Consider offering pitiable Alaskan sot a minor move.
= Smirking too-fat American VP soon needs a life (or bail)!
(by Dharam)


Dec 30, 2008

Alaskan Population Grows by One
Alaskan population grows by one = Ow, Alaskan son - Tripp! 'Boy on a luge'?
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Star Report: Bristol Palin gives birth to a son
Bristol Palin gives birth to a son = Alright, parents vision - bib & stool
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Obama will stick to tax promise, his aides say
Obama will stick to tax promise, his aides say = Am I to do what's possible? I ask. Exactly, sir -- I am.
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Pakistan urges "de-escalation" with India
Pakistan urges "de-escalation" with India = Disliking threats, Anu said, "O, I want peace!"
(by Dharam)

Blagojevich Prosecutors Seek Ruling on Tapes
Blagojevich Prosecutors Seek Ruling on Tapes = Oh, resign seat, repulsive occupant! Go, slob! Jerk!
(by Charles Arey)

The Good Times Stop Rolling: Vegas Meets the Recession
The Good Times Stop Rolling: Vegas Meets the Recession = Some regard loss; Elvises compete to sing "In the Ghetto".
(by Dharam)

Bristol Palin welcomes a son
Bristol Palin welcomes a son = Liberals lost; some now panic!
(by Dharam)


Dec 29, 2008

Bristol Palin has a Baby Boy
Palin's Daughter Gives Birth = Veep: Dingus, his brat alright

Barak: Israel in 'all-out war' with Hamas
Barak: Israel in 'all-out war' with Hamas = Wow! Ah, that 'air' mauls Arabian killers!
(by Pinchas Aronas)
Israel is in 'all-out war' with Hamas = It hails trauma; I wish Aronas well!
(by Dharam)

As a Candidate, Kennedy Is Forceful but Elusive
As a Candidate, Kennedy Is Forceful but Elusive = Cut futile, faded kin! N.Y. evades & abuses Caroline
(by Pinchas Aronas)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: A New American Classic?
Brad Pitt in 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' = Ebb from untainted senior into just a pathic cub.
(by Adie Pena)

CIA Using Viagra to Bribe Afghan Warlords
CIA Using Viagra to Bribe Afghan Warlords = A big, rising, favourable hard-on was ... tragic!
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 28, 2008

Israel launches major Gaza operation
Operation 'Solid Lead' = Despoliation & ordeal
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 27, 2008

Killer Santa Dead After Arson, Shooting Spree
The Covina killer and arsonist = Rather an old, so evil "Saint Nick".
(by Adie Pena)

Man in Santa suit kills 8, self on Christmas Eve
The 'Santa' gunman Bruce Pardo = Go bananas, act up ... then murder.
(by Adie Pena)

Zimbabwe child malnutrition rises
Zimbabwe child malnutrition rises = but bills diminish maize corn, water
(by Dharam)

Singer Eartha Kitt dies
Singer Eartha Kitt dies = Take this dirge in tears
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 26, 2008

Intelligence Officials: Pakistan Moving Troops Toward Indian Border
Pakistan Moving Troops Toward Indian Border = Distortion? Probing? No, a mad war! Provide tanks!
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 25, 2008

German Priest Aims to Knock Off Santa -- or, at Least Decommercialize Him
"How a Holy Legend Turned Into an Advertising Gag" = Get long-running overweight holiday Santa DEAD!
(by Adie Pena)

Dec 12th is National Poinsettia Day
December Twelfth is National Poinsettia Day = To be definitely awed, I note a Christmas plant.
December Twelfth is National Poinsettia Day = We obtained it, one leafy Christmastide plant.
(by Adie Pena)

Meet the real Santa Claus: St Nicholas
"Santa-Free Zone" = See zero fat, Ann!
(by Adie Pena)

Guinea Coup Leaders Name President, Governing Council
Captain Moussa Camara = Maniac & rat amass a coup
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 24, 2008

Bush pardons man for breaking law to help Israel
Bush pardons man for breaking law to help Israel = Bush: Mr. Winters no longer false, bad & pariah. Pal - OK!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Shirtless images of Obama cause stir online
Shirtless Obama = His abs? Most real!
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 23, 2008

Military coup follows death of Guinea's president
The Guinea's President Lansana Conte = His end entangles state in a near coup
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Fans say yea as Carrey's `Yes Man' opens to $18.3M
The comedian Jim Carrey's latest motion picture = It's true. I'm lead actor in hit 'Yes Man' project. Come!
(by Adie Pena)

Where'd the bailout money go? Shhhh, it's a secret
Where'd the bailout money go? Shhhh, it's a secret = Discharge the theories below, that hush money!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Paris Hilton's home burglarized
Paris Hilton's house hit by burglar = Slut: Pig hairbrush, boy hair stolen
(by Charles Arey)

Winter Storm Brings Snow to Northeast, New England
Northeast weather = A snow threat there.
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 22, 2008

Cheney, Biden Spar as Inauguration Day Draws Near
Cheney defends US policy in war on terror = Nicely sorry when I need corporate funds
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

What Obasma promised Biden
What Obama promised Biden = His own bed, a mom, a rabid pet.
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Cause of Denver Runway Crash a Mystery
Cause of Denver Runway Crash a Mystery = "Eh, say Ray, try can of rum?" - a dunce swerves.
(by Charles Arey)

NY Republicans slam Caroline Kennedy
NY Republicans slam Caroline Kennedy = "Bullcrap! A ninny!", nine yokels screamed
(by Charles Arey)

Hanukkah is not a "Jewish Christmas"
Hanukkah is not a "Jewish Christmas" = Jesus, Santa or ham, I think -- ask which.
(by Jeffrey Barnes)


Dec 21, 2008

Skeletal Remains Don't Reveal How Fla. Girl Died
Caylee Anthony Murdered = Yea, and deny, cruel mother!
(by Charles Arey)

U.S. May Double Troop Presence in Afghanistaon
More troops to Afghanistan = Short, moot Pentagon safari
(by Charles Arey)

'Drill, baby, drill' process has begun
'Drill, baby, drill' process has begun = Ring bell? Bush policy adds barrels.
'Drill, baby, drill' process has begun = Bye crab, gull, and shore bird (spills)
(by Dharam)


Dec 20, 2008

Paris Hilton's home burglarized
Paris Hilton's home burglarized = The girl is prize a man should rob
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

US states face winter storm
US states braced for winter storm = Must it frost as we need coats? Brrr!
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Carla Bruni wins damages for nude handbag
A nude photo of France's First Lady on a handbag = Shop had a fantasy on Bruni. Carla got offended!
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 19, 2008

Bankruptcy for U.S. carmakers seen as option
Bankruptcy for U.S. carmakers seen as option = Fear: Support breaks. Auto-concerns may sink!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

The victims of Bernard Madoff's fraud scam
The American businessman Bernard Madoff = Became the damn inner brains of mass fraud!
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 18, 2008

White House is 'very close' to announcing auto aid
White House is 'very close' to announcing auto aid = Ah, soon vehicle-industries continue, go out, away!
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 17, 2008

Father offers daughter to shoe-thrower
Father offers daughter to shoe-thrower = Forget the heart, she'd rush for footwear!
(by Dharam)

Heart found on floor of car wash
Heart found on floor of car wash = An outlaw chef's fond of a horror
(by honez)

Barack Obama is 'Time' Person of the Year
Obama is the TIME "Person of the Year" = Yes, a 'brother' is the epitome of a man!
(by Adie Pena)

Blagojevich tells reporters to 'hang loose'
Blagojevich tells reporters to 'hang loose' = Large hopes lost over the call to resign job
(by Dharam)

In Lebanon, Students Find Hero In Iraqi Shoe Thrower
A shoe-thrower = So, the war hero?
(by Adie Pena)

UK troops to leave Iraq 'by July'
Brown makes surprise Baghdad trip = British PM spoke: 'War danger, absurd'
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 16, 2008

Shoe thrower 'beaten in custody'
Shoe thrower 'beaten in custody' = The tiny-boot-dasher 'secure' now
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Ice storms knock power out across NY, New England
Ice storms knock power out across NY, New England = Yankee computer networks down, closings, no cars
(by Dharam)


Dec 15, 2008

In Iraqi's Shoe-Hurling Protest, Arabs Find a Hero
The Al-Baghdadia television correspondent Muntadar al-Zeidi = I did grab and hurl a size ten at a moron, hence it's all videotaped.
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 14, 2008

Bush makes farewell visit to Iraq
Bush makes farewell visit to Iraq = Quest is vital for miserable hawk
(by Dharam)

Calm returns to Athens after riot
Calm returns to Athens after riot = No terror stimulants there. A fact.
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Brown blames Pakistani militants for the Mumbai
Brown blames Pakistani militants for the Mumbai = British PM talks of 'new brute animals' - "I am anti mob!"
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 13, 2008

Disgraced Illinois governor weighs legal options
Disgraced Illinois governor weighs legal options = Local-wide gossip re: villain Rod -- He's going to resign!
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 12, 2008

Bettie Page, legendary pinup queen, dies at 85
Bettie Page, legendary pinup queen, dies = RIP "Peeping Beauty." (Quiet -- angels needed.)
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Taiwan ex-president Chen charged with corruption
Before we incriminate, trash and punish ... = ... former Taiwan President Chen Shui-bian.
(by Adie Pena)

The not-so-Big Three
"Big Three" automakers = As more hurt, get a bike!
General Motors, Ford and Chrysler = Hard for old cars? Sorry, gentlemen.
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 11, 2008

Blagojevich's promise of reforms crashes down amid corruption charges
Governor Rod Blagojevich = Erring over 'gold-job', havoc
(by Pinchas Aronas)
Rod Blagojevich = Gov. Richjobdeal
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 10, 2008

Joe the Plumber: McCain "Appalled Me," Made Me Feel "Dirty"
Joe the Plumber says McCain "Appalled Me," made me feel "Dirty". = Papa mopes, "My humble-lifestyled American lad rejected me!"
(by Dharam)

Carbon dioxide found on distant planet
Carbon dioxide found on distant planet = Extinct aliens in a far odd pond, no doubt.
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Hollywood actors union seeks authority to strike
Hollywood actors union seeks authority to strike = Looky who's star-struck soon -- you are! (Hit it, teen idol!)
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Obama calls on Illinois governor to resign
Obama calls on Illinois governor to resign = "So? I rob millions governing." -- a local senator
(by Jeffrey Barnes)


Dec 9, 2008

Caroline Kennedy interested in NY Senate seat
Senator Caroline Kennedy = An earned N.York selection?
Leaders cry: "Nation keen on ... ... Senator Caroline Kennedy."
Senator Caroline Kennedy = N.Y. area likes contender, no?
(by Adie Pena)
Senator Caroline Kennedy = Lady keen on career. No, isn't?
Senator Caroline Kennedy = Reckon in one earnest lady
Senator Caroline Kennedy = Reckon in N.Y. leader-seat, no?
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Military jet crash in San Diego kills three on ground
Military jet crash in San Diego kills three on ground = Army airliner hits thick land. Glorious jet's gone. End
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 8, 2008

Drug raid over smelly flowers
Cops stage a drug raid over smelly Moss Phlox flowers = Relax, sir! Smug fools salvaged my worthless "dope" crop.
(by Adie Pena)

New Auto Rescue Plan Focuses on Oversight
New Auto Rescue Plan Focuses on Oversight = We can push, er..regulation of covetousness!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Strangers may cheer you up, study says
Strangers may cheer you up, study says = Yesss...they may curse our guts and pray.
(by Jeffrey Barnes)


Dec 7, 2008

Martha Crawford von Bulow, famed heiress dies at 76
Heiress Martha 'Sunny' von Bulow is dead at sixty-seven = Intensively devious ex-husband was a trashy monster
(by Adie Pena)

Joe Satriani sues Coldplay for plagiarism
"Cryptomnesia" is the unintentional plagiarism or stealing of a melody. = Coldplay song similar to fine guitar solo? Men pay the eminent Satriani!
(by Adie Pena)

Detroit Bailout Talks Slow Over 'Czar' Role
Detroit Bailout Talks Slow = Look about wild Tsar's title
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Humpback whale seen off Dutch coast
Humpback whale seen off Dutch coast = Hush! A bold few came up to fetch snack.
(by Dharam)


Dec 6, 2008

Politicians may have to take breath test
Australian politicians may have to take breath tests = Can't I sail a kit over a sea to test the party animal Bush?
(by Dharam)

Amsterdam to cut brothels by half
Amsterdam to cut brothels by half = To smartly combat flesh trade hub
(by Dharam)

O.J. Simpson's trail of trials
O.J. Simpson's trail of trials = Jail is toils for sportsman
(by Pinchas Aronas)

OJ Simpson given lengthy sentence
OJ Simpson given lengthy sentence = Less convenient jogs in the pen gym
(by Dharam)


Dec 5, 2008

Happiness is contagious, research finds
Happiness is contagious, research finds = Pun-ishing (sic) capers of disease -- ha! (snort)
(by Jeffrey Barnes)

Bill Richardson to head Commerce Department
Bill Richardson to head Commerce Department = Hot match! Emboldened NM spirit, a clear record. = Celebrated old Hispanic charm to modern term.
(by Dharam)

Canadian leader provokes anger by closing Parliament
Prime Minister Stephen Harper = Pish, their man - present premier!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Guitarist Satriani accuses Coldplay of plagiarism
Guitarist Satriani accuses Coldplay of plagiarism = Rapid acoustic artist is suing for pay as legal claim
(by Dharam)

Carmakers, senators discuss aid conditions
Carmakers, senators discuss aid conditions = Crisis cross-scanned; disdain to automakers.
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Bill Richardson to head Commerce Department
Governor Bill Richardson = Bring over rich dollars, no?
(by Adie Pena)

Democrats want a more assertive Obama
Democrats want a more assertive Obama = Team advocates warrior & mean team-boss
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Security scare at Delhi's airport
Security scare at Delhi's airport = Or, I'd try a triple suitcase search = Report is circulated as hysteria = Radar up, else crisis at other city
(by Dharam)


Dec 4, 2008

Pursuing U.S. Aid, G.M. Accepts Need for Drastic Cuts
Who can save Detroit? = Now? Their advocates!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Baseball Notes: Pedroia's reward: $40.5 million
Dustin Pedroia = Superaddition
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Canadian PM vows "every legal means" to fight opposition coalition plan
'Every legal means' = Generally - Save me!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

MAS To Fly From Suvarnabhumi On Friday
The Suvarnabhumi International Airport protesters = Rebels! Triumphant ranters hurt aviation operations!
(by Adie Pena)

First passenger flight to land at Bangkok Suvarnabhumi Airport as protesters hand over
Mean rebels interrupt aviation through Asia in ... = ... the Suvarnabhumi International Airport siege
(by Adie Pena)


Dec 3, 2008

Rice lands in India to ease tensions
Rice lands in India to ease tensions = Reason & destination - India's silence
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 2, 2008

Rice flies to India to ease tension with Pakistan
Rice flies to India to ease tension with Pakistan = "I wish to see no attacks after initial inn episode!"
(by Dharam)

Obama Poised to Name Hillary Clinton to State Post
Obama Poised to Name Hillary Clinton to State Post = Aha, emanates - Bill's lady, no competitor, to sit on Top!
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Choice of Clinton carries risks for Obama
Choice of Clinton carries risks for Obama = Barack choices infirm. Not safe or cool, sir.
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Obama, Clinton: Rivalry out, diplomacy in
Obama, Clinton: Rivalry out, diplomacy in = Clairvoyant politician? Lay, dumb moron!
(by Pinchas Aronas)


Dec 1, 2008

Mr. Obama's team
Mr. Obama's team = A smart me & a mob
(by Pinchas Aronas)

Anguished Indian Public Presses Leaders for Answers
Vilasrao Deshmukh = Rush? OK, shame valid!
(by Pinchas Aronas)



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